imperfect

It's hard to write about a less than perfect holiday weekend. It was one for the record books in unhappiness.

But don't feel bad for us.

God surely can turn a bad situation around over the course of a weekend.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...Romans 8:28

And He did.

Our thankful mailbox was definitely the highlight. Our only complaint was too few to open. Next year, we'll have to start on November first.


We took turns reading them one by one. I was pleasantly surprised by Joaquin's thankfulness for seasons and Isabela's grandiose 'God', 'Every day', and 'Everything'. (There were also the typical PSP, dogs and cats, and blankie and chupi.)


We hit the road shortly after that. It's become a tradition to stop by Bass Pro Shops on our way up to Thanksgiving. Our original plan was to surprise the kids and go to the National Zoo...but that didn't happen. Maybe next year.


Such a serious expression to be holding a pink gun.


And you better believe they weren't aiming for the ducks here.


This could be one of those 'see how much they've grown' photos, year after year.


I'll spare you the details of our Thanksgiving of silence. It wasn't pretty. Little eyes were watching us, and probably saw us at our worst.


They could feel the tension, and it affected them, too. I can only hope memories of the good will outweigh the bad.


So I did the only thing I knew to do. I picked up my Bible. It had been too long. But there He goes...turning it around for good.
And slowly the weekend started turning around, as well. I think a lifetime was lived in those four days. So much time.

And I believe that Thanksgiving has surely become my favorite holiday.

We climbed to the attic and brought down the boxes filled with decorations...and I finally realized that Christmas actually starts now.

At advent.


If you wait until December 25, while you're opening presents, you've missed it.

This year, we are following an advent book called, Celebrate Jesus at Christmas, and I highly recommend it. We're reading scripture, slowly setting up our nativity scene piece by piece, singing carols, and praying.



Today Isabela said a teacher asked her class if anyone was a Christian. (It must have had something to do with a book they were reading.) She said she was the only one who raised her hand. She said she was embarrassed, but I told her God wasn't. And I was so proud of her.

I'm excited about all the gifts this season of advent will bring...as we patiently wait...living our imperfect lives.

today

This is an important picture.



I know. You've seen just as many of these pics as I have. But today's the day we hope to see more and more of those precious lips. We're starting to say good-bye to chupi....his binki, paci, whatever you may call it. No more hard plastic chupi kisses. Or at least not as many...we're slow going...just using it for naps and night-night...and today was a pretty good day.

It seems like all this 'big-boy' talk may have gone to his head....or he'd just like to be an '80s tennis pro.


Today was a special day for Joaquin, too. And a long one coming...he and I went out for his birthday. Yesterday he said, "I can't believe it's almost Christmas and we still haven't celebrated my birthday!" Unfortunately, my great idea of celebrating with only mom, dad and birthday kid never quite worked out how I thought. Soooo, we may be re-instituting parties for the coming year. The kids are thrilled.


And where do you think my spirited Joaquin would like to go with his mom? To paint pottery. He knew exactly what he wanted to paint, too...Rudolph.


I've been wanting to do this for so long...just me and him. It really is priceless to take out just one kid and focus all your attention on them.


Because one day, you'll take a picture of them, and wonder how they grew up so fast...and you might catch a glimpse of a future teenager...and there'll be a knot in your throat or a tear in your eye.


This month is all about being thankful. And I can't get this phrase that I read on pinterest out of my mind.

What if you woke up today... with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

What a long list I have. Thank you, God.

africa!

We're about to have two more children join our family.

From Africa.

It's only for a few days.

But it will be life-changing.

And we're so excited!

The Hope for Africa children's choir, from Uganda, is touring the US, and one of their stops is our church. They needed host families...we have plenty of space...so we signed up.

Our kids are asking thousands of questions already...my favorite so far from Joaquin: "Will they be my brother or sister while they're here?"

With a smile, I responded, "Probably."

there but for the grace of God...

There but for the grace of God, go I.

I'm sure I first heard this phrase from my mom. I had never liked it much...with it's yoda-like grammar structure. Plus, being young, it just didn't make much sense to me. The young are invincible and untouched by tragedy, for the most part.

But now, the phrase is often silently whispered in my thoughts.

And once the other day in Maymont.

We ended up getting separated here. The two older kids had gone to the bathroom with dad, and I got sidetracked taking cute pictures of Diego. When we came back up to the bathrooms, they were all gone, so Diego and I headed on to the waterfall, where I figured they'd be.


We cut through a bamboo path and came out close to the waterfall. People were drenching themselves under it, so we sat down to watch. We dipped our feet in the cool brook that was flowing by us, and I kept a tight squeeze on Diego's arm so he wouldn't go plunging down below. And we waited. The others weren't there. After fifteen minutes, I figured they must have gone on to the japanese garden, so we packed up and headed over there.

And we found them crossing the stepping stones. Joaquin was going full speed yelling, "Watch me!" And Juan Pablo was unusually quiet. Isabela was holding his hand.

Before I had a chance to fuss about being left behind at the bathrooms, JP says, "It was a good thing you weren't with us."


It turns out, Isabela had slipped off a very high rock. And here's the God part. Juan Pablo was below and reacted fast enough that he caught her. To hear Joaquin tell it, Isabela said, "Hey this looks like fun," then slips and starts screaming and waving her arms around. And it is quiet funny to see him do it.

But really it's not funny at all.

It could have been much worse. But the only injuries were a banged up ankle, a bleeding pinkie toe, and Juan Pablo scraped up his arm and pulled some shoulder muscles.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

So does this mean, if something worse had happened, God's grace does not exist?


I don't think so.


Afterall, it's just a saying.


But it gives us pause to think. And be thankful.


The fall didn't stop us from climbing high....


...or hoping to.


But we're glad there are others to help us down.


We finally made it up to the Dooley mansion, and this day we decided to take the tour. Only, two minutes after it began, Diego started squirming and whining, so before we could get kicked out, I excused myself with him. The guide said, "Come back when you're older!" Oh yeah, and see those black grates on the house like a dungeon? Joaquin pulled one of them off.


So Diego and I hung out waiting for the others. We made a new plant that reminded me of Horton's clover from Horton Hears a Who...and acted silly.


And even though I kept a close eye on this little runner, at one point, he stood on the edge of a rock wall gazing down at a tumbling waterfall. Although I was too many feet away to be comfortable, he stayed put.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

keeping quiet

Holding my tongue.

Lately, that's been the life lesson I've been failing at. The kids are making decisions, and I'm learning to let them.

I never liked to be in charge, but somehow, as a mom, I've gotten used to deciding when, where, what, and how. And letting that go is hard.

Like when Isabela had her choice to go anywhere for her birthday, she chose Chuck E. Cheese. My mouth dropped open when she said it, but I slowly closed it, trying not to say a word.


It was in that moment that I realized her choices are not going to be the same as mine.

So we played video games.

And eyes glazed over.

And long-sought-after prizes were won!


And although it's a little painful to see her branch off from me, it's also exciting. If I keep quiet, I learn more about her. Who she is inside. Her likes. Her dreams.


So I shush. And I observe. And I admire the precious girl God has placed in my care. From the top of her head, to the tips of her colorful toes.

seeking

My loss for words carries over into the new year. And when that happens, sometimes a simple quote will help me organize my thoughts.

So I found this, and it was for me. And maybe for you:

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~Ellen Goodman

Maybe it's because our family's on the verge of a giant trip...and I have lists of to do's and to get's. Maybe it's because my birthday lurks around the corner.

But I don't want to look for flaws this year. This year, I'm seeking potential, and goodness, and joy, and kindness. As I write that, it sounds like I may just be seeking the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.) But that's a mouthful.

So I think I'm going to focus on KINDNESS and JOY.

I saw them in my children today, my great teachers of what's important in this life.

KINDNESS in self-less sharing of an ICEE, unprompted from Mom. It was beautiful and I was inspired.


And JOY...in three siblings that can fight like the rest of them...but deep down, there's JOY and I hope to find it.


But how will I do this this year? I hope it's with heavenly help. There's a manual.... if I'll only read it.

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8


But if all else fails, I'm comforted in knowing:

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

Blessings to you this new year in all you're searching for.

Signs

My week has gotten away from me...with the busy-ness of life and sewing costumes for Halloween, but I just wanted to mention the story of those blackbirds in the pictures of our mountain trip.

Our family was all gathered around for a memorial to grandma and grandpa...and as soon as we started, those two birds came and sat right in the trees above us. We all took it as a sign from grandma and grandpa...but then a third bird came and sat with them. Someone mentioned that it was my mom.

It hadn't even occurred to me.
But I'm glad someone said that. How amazing for all of us to be gathered together and to have those three birds there watching us.

It's been a long time since I've seen a sign. Maybe I've just overlooked them.

My desire for a sign is always diminished when I remember doubting Thomas. Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)

I count it as strengthening my FAITH when I go on without any signs...but it sure is nice to have one every now and then.

JOY

I love to do arts and crafts. The other day, in my women's circle at church, we had to go around the room and say what brought us joy in life, and besides the obvious kids and family answer, I said "arts and crafts".

And today I had a very willing accomplice. I watched Sami for the day...a four year old little girl who loves crafts and is very into fairies. Plus...I scored big at the thrift store the other day on a box of 1000 popsicle sticks.

So what else could we make...but beautiful boxes to store treasures in for the fairies. We found the idea here.



Then we went on a scavenger hunt and filled it up with wonderful things from our yard.


The fairies will be very excited.


We also made them a tree for shade. A very cute idea found here.


Sami was so excited to make these and it brought me JOY to watch her face light up at each activity we did...and at each piece of nature she chose for the fairies. When I said my answer in front of the group the other day, I felt dumb...there was no one that agreed with me, just a few slight smiles around the room and then on to the next person. I wondered if I was wrong about what brought me joy. Maybe I didn't even know for sure.

But after today, I know I was right.

What brings you JOY?