what's wrong with this picture?

Sometimes it's just easier this way.

blue monster

Diego and I have a little secret.

A blue monster lives in the closet in my room. When it's nap time, if the closet door is open, Diego says with surprise, "Blue monster got out!" And I'll karate chop him back in and close the door.

I'm not sure why I karate chop him, because we actually like him. And Diego will get mad if someone tries to hurt him (like say, Joaquin).

Last night at the gas station, I said, "Look! There's blue monster!" and Diego laughed and laughed so hard. I kept it going with, "How did he get here? He must have rode on the roof!" And he laughed a hearty belly laugh some more.

But the other day, I broke the cardinal rule of all moms everywhere...I ignored the 'too quiet' baby in the other room because I was too lazy to get up. When I finally did....

...he was doing exactly what I knew he was doing but hoping he wasn't.

He had the weapon in his hand....a blue Sharpie.

And he was turning himself into a blue monster!

He had colored an entire hand, front and back, with blue Sharpie and was well on his way into the second... and a nice large drawing on the window sill, too.

I gasped and grabbed him up, feet dangling in the air, headed straight for the bathtub. Diego's sweet voice asking, "What, Mom?"down the hall.

And it happened just as it did in The Cat in the Hat....the blue came mostly off of his hands, but is now on my tub!


The baby who refused to wear a costume on Halloween has turned himself into a real blue monster! I wish I had taken a before picture, but the evidence is still there and shall be for a long time I imagine.

he got me.

Joaquin is a fantastic story teller.

But like most moms, I can usually tell when he's making something up by decoding his microexpressions and body language like Cal Lightman.

But the other night, he got me good.

As I tucked him into bed, we were having a serious conversation about him being scared, then about Osama Bin Laden and why he became a bad guy. I was thankful to turn the conversation towards God and even have Joaquin repeat a prayer after me to help him not be so afraid.

After that, he brought up school and the infrequent lock down drills they practice in case of a bad guy entering the school. He said his teacher had them draw and color a cutout of themselves and when there's a lockdown, they put up this cutout in their seats and go hide in the designated spot in the classroom...so it looks like all the kids are still in their seats.

He said it even has this shiny stuff on it...I said, "Laminated?" and he said, "Yeah, the teacher laminated them."

I asked, "Well, how does it sit up in your seat?"

He replied,"It has these little plastic feet like game board pieces and it stands up. It looks like we're reading books at our desks."

So I thought to myself, 'That is really weird and a little scary for the kids to have to go through all that. I'm going to ask his teacher the next time I see her why they do that."

I dropped the topic and he drifted off to sleep.

But when Juan Pablo came home that night, I told him the story.

He immediately said, "He made that up."

I said, "How do you know?"

And he said, "There's no way, under the stress of an intruder in the building, they would have the kids setting up these fake people." And then, the lightbulb flashed, and the whole story just seemed so ridiculous to me.

So you KNOW I asked Joaquin about it in the morning. With my usual statement of, "I'm going to email your teacher about this." And he copped. He'd made the whole thing up.

I asked him, "WHY would you do that?"

His answer..."Because it was fun."

I am NOT liking the implications of this, nor the fact that I fell for such an outrageous story.

Toddler Bunny

Having a two year old is kind of like celebrating Easter with the traditional egg hunt.....EVERYDAY...except it's not eggs you're going to find. Maybe a toothbrush in your sofa, a bouncy ball in your shoe, or a Hotwheel in your cupboard.

This morning, I woke up with the sun streaming into the room. And as I turned my head to peer out of the window, something round caught my eye. It was sitting on the window sill, hidden just under the blind. What could that be?

It was a cherry tomato.

It made me smile.

And I had thought I was too old for egg hunts. Glad I was wrong.

monkey see, monkey do

Stretching across the gravel path leading from the soccer fields to the parking lot is a long chain connected between two posts. I suppose it's there so people don't drive up the path, but for my kids, it's always the last obstacle of the night before we get in the car.

Juan Pablo takes all three kids to Joaquin's practice on Wednesday nights...and this is the story he told when he got home.

Joaquin said, "Hey, Dad...watch my new trick!" He proceeds to kick the ball toward the chain then takes off running...I assume to jump over the chain and stop the ball before it gets too far. I think you know where this is going.

His feet catch on the chain, and splat! he goes down, face first into the gravel. (This has happened before, by the way.)

Juan Pablo runs over to see if he's okay, and of course, he is. God was right to make Joaquin out of rubber.

They turn around to see ISABELA barreling down the path straight for the chain.

She almost. makes. it. over.

But her feet catch on the chain, too...and down she goes. A little harder than Joaquin.

She's crying. Joaquin's laughing. Juan Pablo, I imagine, is trying to comfort and chastise at the same time.

But where's Diego?

He looks up to see Diego charging down the path heading straight for...the chain.

Who are we raising here? The Three Stooges?

bullseye

I love how kids see things so differently than us. No need to hit the bullseye.



They're chinese finger traps!


On guard!


Shifting perspectives is good.

you first

We've had two tires sitting by the house for at least a year.

We tried to sell them. No one bought.

We tried to throw them away. The trashmen wouldn't take them. Actually we have three, and there's one still sitting out by the road that they'll never take away.

So this past weekend, while we were tackling the MOUNTAIN of leaves we never raked in fall, I thought of using them as swings over by the tree fort. I mean, we used to have a wooden stick swing there, so why not do it again? Hmmmm. Maybe because it broke?



And like he usually does, Juan Pablo makes it WAY more complicated than I was thinking...which was tie the rope around the tire and tie the rope around the tree.



This involved drilling. And washers. And certain knots.


We read that the heaviest person in the family should test out the swing first, and while he and I debated about who that might be, Joaquin jumped on it and it seemed to hold.



My thinking is, if it breaks, the tire will bounce on the ground first and cushion the fall.


It's still up....anyone else want to try it out?

"Mo!"

"Mo!" said while stomping his foot. An almost two-year-old's version of defiance. It cracks me up every time.

I'm sure it won't be funny to me forever, but for now I'm enjoying it. The fact that it starts with an "M" instead of an "N" makes all the difference.

And somehow, "hue" (which stood for 'jugo' or juice in Spanish) has now become 'foof'. I feel like Anne Sullivan when Helen Keller discovered that 'water' meant water. Diego has discovered words and is spitting them out left and right. And it's so CUTE.

Some things are cute only on little people though. Like he had a huge booger on his cheek yesterday in the bathtub....yep, still cute.

early risers

Sometimes, as a consequence for something the kids have done wrong, I have them write. I know it doesn't always fit the crime, but maybe they'll get neat handwriting out of it.

So the other morning, they both got up early and for some reason came barging into our room...waking up Diego, which then meant I had to wake up. I was NOT happy about it. So I sent them both to their separate rooms to write sentences about not waking us up (unless it's an emergency, of course).

This is what they wrote:



I had to laugh.

"I will not wack mom and the rest of the family."
"I will not wack the family."

Well, I'm glad I won't be wacked anytime soon.

smell something?

Why does my cat look like a porcupine? Well, let me tell you a story.

It started in the morning...I was coming back home from a store when I spotted a funny black cat slinking across the road ahead of me. As I got closer, I realized it was no cat at all. It was a skunk. I remember thinking it was cute... I don't usually see skunks...then I went on my way and forgot all about it.

Until around 5pm.

My neighbor called me. He said, "Watch out. A skunk was over here, and I just saw it going up your drive way."

I replied, "Oh! I saw that skunk this morning....Wait a minute....(me yelling to the kids) Where's the cat?" Kids yell back: "Outside!"

I look out the window...and there she is chasing the skunk! Then the skunk is chasing her. Then she's chasing the skunk.

I run to the door and yell at her to come inside thinking she would zip right in to get away from it...she's ignoring me!

The kids are laughing, then Isabela starts crying worried about the cat. We're all running frantic from window to window around the house to see where they are. I"m yelling out the front door, the kids are yelling out the back door.

The neighbor thinks it might have rabies since it's running around in the day. So I REALLY want to get the cat in. I'm calling her, and...the skunk COMES UP THE STEPS...but then ducks under the porch.

Meanwhile, I call animal control...they're a little reluctant but send a guy out to us anyway.

And you know our whole yard smells like a skunk.

I finally get the cat in...grab her and a can of tomato soup...and with the help of Joaquin, I gave her a bath in it. She didn't like that one bit, but it had to be done.

Isabela ended up taking a bath in tomato juice since she thought she stunk, too.

The animal control officer pulled up with his lights flashing, spot-light shining, and did a walk around, but I guess the skunk left when we got the cat inside. The officer was quite a character himself and just added to the craziness of the night.

So all had pretty much been forgotten today...until we got in the car for a quick trip to the store...and the SMELL hit us when we opened the doors.

SKUNK! P.U! I just hope we don't smell like that after riding in it!

All this reminded me of a game I played as a kid...it was called Hook, Line, and Stinker. You went fishing for fish but would sometimes pull up trash, or a boot, or a skunk, which had a scratch and sniff sticker like the real smell. I loved that game!

I thought the kids might like it for Christmas...since we now have this great memory to go along with it.

hair

Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he's got it all.
James Brown

The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake.
Steve Allen

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
William Hazlitt

I love the feeling of the fresh air on my face and the wind blowing through my hair.
Evel Knievel

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10:30

good morning hair

Having a bad hair day? I don't think anyone will notice.

picante

Tonight we had green chile enchiladas. Joaquin comes to the table and asks if the food is hot.

Joaquin: Hot hot? Or spicy hot?

Dad: It's not spicy at all.

Isabela: Don't believe him. It's sooo spicy!

Joaquin: Dad likes spicy things 'cause in Bolivia they eat all that Mexican food.

Fall Festival

I'm not sure what came over us this year. It all started with the Santa suit. We picked it up for Diego in a yard sale this summer. Then we thought of all going as something from Christmas. Rudolph, a tree, an elf....somewhere along the way, Isabela and Joaquin dropped out of the family Christmas costumes and went their own route.
But that left JP, Diego and me.

As we were stepping out of the car at the school, JP said, "It's not too late to turn back."

We debated about whether other parents would dress up. To say we were almost the ONLY ones who did, would not be exaggerating. If that's not embarrassing, I'm not sure what is. But at the same time, it was fun. I hadn't dressed up in a long time. And it will probably be another long time before I do it again.

So here's a few pictures we snapped before we left.

Isabela was an owl. The idea for this costume came from Alpha Mom. It was very easy to make...I added the feet, the wings and some feathers on the mask...otherwise it was pretty much the same. We loved this costume. Isabela would dance around in it throughout the house and you could tell she felt beautiful in it. I loved how simple it was to make, but how shimmery it was. I thought it might win "the contest". I did give her the "what if you don't win" speech before we left, but she was still so upset when she didn't. The little mask hid her tears.


Joaquin went as a lumberjack. This idea was from Family Fun and very simple. I didn't have to make anything except the suspenders and the ax.


Here's Diego and me. A lot of people thought I was a plain ol' grandma if I wasn't near the others. Nothing like people not getting your costume to make you want to rip it off.


Here's his stroller! A sleigh made out of poster board. He sat in it for a good while, and even rang a little jingle bell we'd given him. At some point he kicked it apart...and even threw a tantrum in the hallway, knocking over his stoller.... I overheard a passerby say, "Oooh...Santa's mad."


JP was an elf. A friend gave us the elf hat, and I made the vest....

...and the shoes! He loved the shoes and secretly wanted to wear them to work.


And would you believe....Joaquin won the costume contest?

name-calling

Here's a playground conversation Joaquin told us about yesterday.


Joaquin: Can I be in your club?

Third grader: OK. What's your name?

Joaquin: Joaquin.

Third-grader: What?!... Rocky?

Joaquin: NO! Joaquin.

Third-grader: What?! AhKey?

Joaquin: (sigh...) Just call me Joey.

a big boy

Who gave my baby a spoon?


Now he wants to do it himself.


I don't remember my other kids doing that.


I mean... Joaquin still uses his hands to eat.


And, I think I probably put a spoon of food in Isabela's mouth just last week to get her to clean her plate.


But just look at this sweet boy doing it all by himself.


He's quite good at it to. He can use his right or his left hand. But we better tie his right hand behind his back, or he won't fit in with the rest of us. We're all lefties.


The sideways spoon...good thing yogurt sticks.


Wait! One more bite!

a sesame street education

The other day in the car, Joaquin was telling us about a show they watched at school for the Chinese New Year. It was called Big Bird Goes to China. He was cracking up about these two guys that decided to dig a hole in the ground to get to China.

Me: Now you know, Joaquin, you couldn't really dig a hole in the ground to get to China.

Joaquin: Yeah, I know.

Me: Do you know why?

Joaquin (with complete confidence): Too many worms.

translation, please

Last night was science night! Too late at night, if you ask me (which they didn't)...but the kids had fun going from class to class doing different experiments. It was a little hot and tiring for the rest of us...I dragged the whole family along, including Julio who is visiting from Bolivia for two weeks. Here's a funny conversation that was overheard:

teacher: See how one grape has bubbles all around it and the other one doesn't? The one with no skin acted like a sponge and soaked up the bubbles.

Julio (to Isabela): That's called permeability.

Isabela: What?!

Julio: Per-me-a-bil-ity.

Isabela (to the teacher, as if to explain): He speaks Spanish.