it's a wonderful life

The weekend had been a long one for me.

I took the kids to see family by myself, with shooting pains radiating through my back from overdoing something, maintaing my patience through stop and go traffic as best I could.  (The good part.... Diego woke up crying that he had to pee and I was able to pull off on the median, open the sliding door and let him pee onto the grass right out of the van.  Then I pulled right back into the traffic not too far from where we had left it.  We did it on the way home, too.)

Christmas excitement, lots of sweets, less sleep, and sitting crunched in seat belts had the kids wound up by the time we got home Sunday night.  Plus Daddy was on his way to work, so we only got a quick 'hi' and he was off.

I got the kids engaged in activities and dinner was started,  but one huge meltdown later because 'stars are just too hard to draw' and two of us ended up in tears.

The next scene, I'm plunging a stopped up toilet with a too small plunger that's splashing drops of water onto my hand, crying to God about my hard life.  It was bound to happen.... at six months pregnant, Christmas to do's still lingering and sleeplessness.  But in the end, I'm a cryer anyway.  I cry at movies, sweet things my kids say, mean things they do, books, commercials, memories, 'what-ifs', even quotes.

But there I was, trying to pull myself together.  The kids had moved on to something else, and I decided to move on to our junk mail pile flowing all over the table.  On top was a grey plastic Lowe's bag with some circular flyers broadcasting sales, already opened credit card applications, a Christmas card from a friend, and a strange, small envelope with only my name on it, well actually....it said Susan and family, but no address or return address.  It was unopened, a rare find because JP loves to open mail.  So I opened it.

It was a snowman card, with another envelope inside.  The card was signed 'from your guardian angel' with a little heart.  What was in the other envelope?  It was filled with unbelievable blessings of money, a gas gift card and a McDonald's gift card.

I was shocked.

I searched the envelope over and over for some sort of clue.  I called JP and had to leave a message, "Call me back as soon as you get this."  The tears were flowing again, but it must have been different.  The kids were concerned saying, "Mommy, what's the matter?"  I was speechless and could barely whisper back, "I'm okay."

Juan Pablo finally called back and I described what had happened.  He said the envelope had been left in the door when he got back late from work over the weekend.  He hadn't opened it because it was fat, and he thought it probably had pictures in it, so he just left it for me.

And that was it.

I read the card again through tears, as the kids and I sat down to dinner.  They were amazed that I would have a real guardian angel.  We had watched It's a Wonderful Life the night before, so they knew about guardian angels.  Then they started talking about what if it was a real person and who it could be.  They went through our list of friends and why or why it couldn't be each one.

Did this guardian angel know our bank account had been negative for the last three days and wasn't going to see the light of day until the end of the month?

Did they know we needed a tangible miracle to lift our spirits?  Because you know, faith is a hard thing.  To believe without seeing takes strength and might and can become cloudy over time.

We were recipients of a random act of kindness..... from who, we'll never know.  But when I opened up that card, we received so much more than what was inside.

Restoration.  Breath.  Faith.  Belief.  Miracles.

What we do know...that night, our guardian angel got their wings.  It is a wonderful life.