saying goodbye

We had a visitor the other night...the night Diego turned three.

She came while he was sleeping, and snuck off without us hearing.

Can you guess what she took?

The chupi fairy took his pacifier to give to the 'new babies'. Well, really Diego gave his pacifier to her. We'd talked it up for weeks....when he turned three, he'd have to give his chupi to the fairy, and she would leave him a really great present.

We even took it for a test drive a couple of weeks ago. He said he wanted to leave his chupi for the fairy, so he snuggled up in bed without it. But a few short minutes later, he wanted it back.

Well, then came his birthday.

I didn't want the fairy to TAKE his chupi without him knowing...I wanted him to give it to her. He was ready, but placing them (he had two) in the dollar store bug catcher box sealed the deal. We left the box in the window and were eager to see what she would bring him in the morning.

He went off to sleep happy, and I was amazed.

But then he woke up at 2am. Crying and crying for his chupi. The fairy had already come...and left him a HUGE tractor trailer loaded up with cars...but giant plastic toys don't compare to something you've loved for three years. He was inconsolable. He cried the tears you cry when something's gone and you'll never get it back. I cried with him. I know that feeling. I've felt it too many times.

But thank you for daddies, who know that things won't always be this bad. He laid by him in the hallway as Diego pushed us all away, feeling the pain of loss.

An hour later, all was quiet and he slept for the rest of the night.

If you ask him about his chupi, he knows the fairy took it. But every now and then, he'll forget and ask where it is. There's been no more tears though. One painful night, and it's all over.

There's really no easy way around this. Babies without pacifiers cry when they're little, boys with pacifiers, cry when they're bigger. And there's nothing a mom (or dad) wants more than to be able to comfort their crying child.

It's hard to love something so much.