Enough.
That is the name of
a book our church encouraged us to read. It is basically about managing your finances, realizing you have enough, and teaching the benefits of not spending what you don't have. Even better...living simply and joyfully.
As a family of six with one parent working full-time, we'd already cut, snipped, and chopped off all unnecessary expenses. There were some we were unwilling or couldn't cut back, and so, over time, we slowly built up a small mountain of debt. It was manageable, but probably eating away more at our bread-winner than me. Like a hole you could never quite make it out of.
And as the puzzle pieces of life began to fall into place, it was time for this stay-at-home-mom of twelve years to go back to work...not part-time gigs I've been used to...but full-time, forty hour work weeks, a life-changing, course-altering choice.
*small sigh for mom* I just wasn't sure I was up to it.
(I might have felt a little like this:)
But along came the perfect job. A daycare. Seven minutes from home. Carmen could come. The pay was right.
And so, last week, I became an assistant teacher in a room full of two-year olds.
Before you gasp at how crazy a person must be to take that position, I have to tell you how amazing this job is.
First, it's interesting to know, I applied at this school many years ago when it was first opened. We had wanted to send Isabela there for preschool, but it is crazy expensive. So I applied to teach Spanish there, but someone else was hired. It must not have been the right time. And years passed.
Now I am raising four kids, and it just so happens that my family has heard me exclaim MANY times, "Two is my favorite age!" It's true. The twos are happy and silly and positive and never complain and everything is great to them and messes are fun to clean and peeing in the potty is the best day ever.
So when I recently applied to this school again, it was for a four-year old class. It turned out they had already hired for that position, but "there was a three-year old class opening, so come in to meet us," I was told. But on my interview day, it was for a two-year old class! My first thought was, "hmmm...that's not what I signed up for." But I just smiled and said, "Sure, why not?" It wasn't until I told JP later that he reminded me it's my favorite age. How amazing.
One week into this, there is lots of irony to explore.
Why is that I could stay home with my own children, but no one would pay me and I'd feel guilty that I wasn't "contributing to society", but if I take care of other people's children, I get paid well and now have a purpose? (Plus someone else now has to take care of my children.)
Why has this job not made me tired in the least bit? I love going to work. I love the kids. I come home on my break and clean up my house a bit and eat lunch at my kitchen table. I'm not munching on snacks throughout the day. I am paid for an HOUR while the kids sleep, which I spend either reading or drawing (a favorite activity I never gave myself time to do when I had loads of free time).
Why is there no more guilt? If the house is dirty, it's because I'm working. If it's clean, I'm amazing. If there's no dinner, it's because I'm working. If I came home on my lunch break and made dinner, once again, I'm amazing.
Plus, pretty soon, our little mountain of debt will begin to shrink. No guilty feelings when
buying groceries on credit cards any more. What is the first thing I'll buy when I get the chance? I think it has to be clothes. I've lived on hand-me downs from friends and family and thrift stores for a long time. Mama wants a new pair of shoes!
It's been a huge adjustment for the whole family. And little Carmen probably felt the worst of it. No more mama, no more paci, potty training, all in one day. She held my face in her hands the first day I picked her up from her 8 hour class and said, "Don't leave, Mama, don't leave" over and over. And I cried.
But this is why I love two year olds. They are resilient, they hold no resentment, they are sponges. She still tears up at drop off time, but she is making friends, learning songs, riding trikes under the willow trees on her super-cool playground, and being loved by some joyful teachers.
I never thought this life was in our cards. Daycare and full-time working mom. Enough pushed us to this point. But the entire family is chipping in to make it work. And as it turns out, there is enough time in the day, enough love to go around and enough is enough.
(Say enough long enough, and it starts not even sounding like a real word.)
I guess it's interesting to note how Obamacare has also played into this.
Our kids lost their health care coverage two months ago. And while I called and left messages, no one ever once returned my call to tell me why they had been dropped. It was possible we had finally met the income limit for a family of six, but we'll never really know. The options were for me to quit my part-time job, reapply for healthcare for the kids and have even less money for our family. Or go big, full-time, and figure out how to pay for their healthcare after that. That option made more sense. Right now, they still have no healthcare, while I work through my first 90 days. Plus we haven't looked into how much it will cost at that point, but one step at a time. For now, we pray no one gets hurt or sick.
(For the record, while I once was excited for Obamacare, thinking I would finally get healthcare for myself after many years of having no insurance, I am no longer a supporter. Paying for this super-expensive health insurance, just for me, is one expense that we would have loved to cut. So not worth it.)
But here we are. Busy, but happy. Weekends are once again for fun. Last weekend, I took some of the kids to the zoo.
We saw the world famous cheetah and puppy best friends.
And fed some beautiful parakeets.
It's been awhile since we've done something fun. I think there will be more of that to come.
